All you need to know about healing generational trauma, wounds and limitations.
First, what is it? Generational trauma, wounds or limitations refer to trapped emotions or beliefs that have been passed down from generation to generation. This can be passed down in a couple of different ways, first, it can happen pre-conception, meaning that the family member suppresses a trapped emotion or belief from a life experience in their subconscious, and then, upon conception, the baby inherits it. This human will then grow up feeling this inherited emotion or belief system as their own. Second, it can be picked up or learned through childhood conditioning. This is when the child is raised through those limiting belief systems or suppressed emotions and in turn, ends up living their own life with the same limiting patterns.
We can inherit trapped emotions and beliefs up to 7 generations back, as well as affect up to 7 generations forward with our own emotions and beliefs. Thankfully, we can also heal that far out! What I find to be the most important and often misunderstood regarding generational healing, is that just because we can heal something from generations back and create healthier patterns in its place, doesn't mean that we can "heal" other people. It means that we can do the healing work ourselves to break that cycle or chain, we can release it energetically for the generations that have come before us, but we cannot force anyone to choose to follow the new path that we've created. This can be an especially difficult truth to accept on your healing journey because often we so badly want to be able to "fix" others or think if we do the healing work it will "fix" our parents or inspire them to change, but the hard truth is that every person has their own free will. All you can do is do the work for yourself, to heal your current situation and life, knowing that you're also ending that cycle or trauma for the 7 generations after you.
How to heal it: 1. Acknowledge the pattern or cycle: Recognize and acknowledge the patterns and behaviours that have been passed down through generations.
2. Understand the root cause: Dive into understanding the root cause of the pattern. What is the underlying feeling or belief that is causing the reaction or symptoms of the pattern? Example: If the pattern is never being able to follow through, the root cause could be a fear of failure. You may even know the story of why the fear of failure is there once you get to the root of it, but remember that the story isn't of that much importance. It may help you get to the root cause but don't focus on the external factors or drama of it.
3. Self-reflection: Engage in self-reflection to identify how these patterns show up in your own life and relationships. Self-reflection is about reflecting and witnessing, not judging as "good" or "bad."
4. Healing the pattern or cycle: Explore various healing modalities such as talk therapy, journalling, self-Reiki, guided meditation, or visualizations, inner child work, breathwork, creative expression, affirmations or mantras to address and release the trapped emotions and trauma. If addressing doing the healing on your own feels like it's too much for you, seek support as it feels necessary.
5. Break the cycle: Intentionally choose to break the cycle by making conscious decisions and choosing behaviours that align with your authentic self and values. You can do all the healing you want energetically, but you still have to consciously choose the new path to create a new habit, belief or pattern. Again, this is why we can't do the work for generations behind us, as they have to choose to not follow the broken cycle. But know that as you choose to break the cycle, it energetically vibrates at that new frequency and allows space for those of the past to choose the same.
6. Forgiveness and compassion: Practice forgiveness towards yourself and others involved in the generational trauma or limiting patterns. Cultivate self-compassion as you navigate your healing journey. It's important to move past the place of blame or victimhood to confidently move forward as your full, true self. Allowing your energy to drift back into feelings or stories of the past drains your energy and gives your power away. Remembering that every person was doing the best they could with the level of awareness and tools they had, allows you to move into forgiveness and compassion, remaining in your full power on your new path.
7. Create your new narrative: Rewrite the narratives and stories surrounding your family history and identity. Focus on creating a new legacy built on love, healing, and empowerment. I know you can't rewrite the past, but you can change your feelings around it and how you speak about it. Imagine if the next time someone were to trigger or bring up that old pattern of your family member not following through and instead of feeding into the negative stories or fuelling the old story (which you know was actually fear of failure,), you change the narrative to talking about how the past doesn't concern you anymore and you're excited to show up confidently in this new opportunity.
8. Honour yourself and your needs: Whether it's through community support or self-care, make sure you're prioritizing practices that support your process and your new narrative. Associate with and confide in others who understand your journey. Make sure you're nourishing your mind, body and spirit throughout the entire process. Remember that you're human and will be triggered by family members who may not be ready to receive your new narratives or outlook, or who still live in the same wounded beliefs that you've healed from. Set healthy boundaries to honour yourself and choose a self-soothing practice to ground back into your body and true self when you're triggered, such as deep breathing, a body scan, your favourite grounding practice, or even have a trigger buddy who you can call or text to help you move through the emotions for a few minutes so that you can move on. Conclusion: Remember that healing is not linear. Allow for ebbs and flows in your process and your healing journey. Always do what works best for you. Honour your process and your needs above all else.
For more on all things healing, raising your frequency and living in flow, check out my other free resources at rebeccaroitz.com or the Tea Time with Becky Podcast.
So much love to you can cheering you on always, Becky xx