As I sit here sipping my tea, looking out my dining room window on this beautifully warm, but rainy day... the thought swirling around my mind is, "What is with imposter syndrome?"
Whenever I put out a question on socials asking "What's the one thing holding you back?" It never fails that there's at least one answer that's "imposter syndrome." So what is it? It's those thoughts that creep into your mind that say, "Well who I am to do blank," or, "Why would people choose me over all these other people?" or, "If that person is doing it that way, who do I think I am to do it this way?" It's the comparison to others, the self-doubt as to be the first you know of to try something or to do something that's against the grain of what you know or knew to be the "right" way to do it.
And why the heck does this happen?
It's quite simple, imposter syndrome is a limiting belief. It can stem from limiting beliefs you've picked up from childhood; maybe your parents were cautious as to not ruffle feathers within the family growing up, so you learned that it isn't safe to ruffle any feathers either. So when you're about to act on something that seemingly goes against "the norm," or may cause others to think of you a certain way, your body's response is "Woah... we're about to ruffle feathers and everything we know about this from the past is that this is not safe!" Enter stage left: imposter syndrome.
Or, maybe you growing up you felt the need to behave, dress or speak a certain way to "fit in" with your friend group. This too, can translate similarly. As you grow into being more comfortable in your true self-expression, finding confidence may seem difficult because that little voice in your head says, "Don't be an imposter... just do things how we've always done them and fit in."
If you're a creative or someone in business, you may find that imposter syndrome creeps in any time you go to take inspired action on a new idea or project. You fall down the rabbit hole of comparing to others doing similar things, comparing to others that are years ahead of your journey, and end up thinking thoughts of, "Who am I to follow through with this? Maybe I should just scrap it and let the "experts" carry on with it," or, "I'll never be where they are with this."
So, questions like: "Who am I to be wealthy or to be the first millionaire in my family?" "Who am I to heal generational trauma?" "Who am I to own my own business?" "Who am I to do things in a way I've never seen someone else do them before?" "Who am I to create and sell a product?" "Who am I to write a book?" "Who am I to host events?" "Who am I to put myself out there and let myself be fully seen and vulnerable?" "Who am I to be fully confident in who I am?"
Babe. Fuck all of that.
Every one of these is a thought that I too have once thought.
But seriously, who are you NOT to do these things? Who are NOT to be the first millionaire in your family? To heal the generational pattern in your family of being afraid to be wealthy because of what others might think? To heal the victim mentality that "being wealthy just isn't in our bloodline," or "we're just not lucky enough to be rich." Healing the wealth mindset generations back and generations into the future. Choosing to walk this path could mean creating generational wealth and healing, bringing you feelings of confidence, inspiration for others, ease, and abundance. So who are you NOT to?
Who are you NOT to stand in your full truth and express yourself authentically, when doing so may heal your limitations on dimming your light to fit in? Which may bring feelings of full confidence, of knowing your self-worth and limitless nature.
Who are you NOT to create the product, write the book or start the business? Just because there are others doing similar things doesn't mean that you shouldn't try. The life experiences alone are enough reason to simply TRY. Even if you try and suck at first, even if you feel like you try and "fail," know that every one of these experiences will gain you more clarity, help you grow and learn, and open new doors to even more beautiful opportunities that await you on your path. Know that just because others have done things, doesn't mean you can't do them as well. Imagine Steve Jobs decided he wasn't going to create a cellphone because "the market is too saturated," or "well what if it fails?" Who are you NOT to follow your heart, to follow what lights you up and that you feel passionate about? What disservice would you be doing yourself or others if you chose not to follow through on this dream? Most importantly, feel into the "why" behind why you wanted to in the first place and use that as your motivation and reminder whenever imposter syndrome creeps in.
Lastly, who are you NOT to be fully confident in who you are? Seriously, this body you're in is a vessel that gets to hold your spirit in this lifetime. Those feet and legs get to carry you each step of the way, that torso, gets to hold your most Sacred organs, fueling your purpose, your emotions and your love. Those hands and arms, get to create, touch, feel and hold. Your beautiful face gets to express sadness and joy, spread joy through your smile, and loving words through your mouth, it gets to see and experience life through your eyes in a way only you can see. And your head gets to process thoughts, decide what to act on, remember, grow, expand, and take in all of your experiences of this lifetime. Who are you NOT to be confident in this body? Who are you NOT to be confident in this lifetime, when it's the only lifetime your soul gets to experience life through this lens?
So my dear friend, as I sit in my dining room, reminding you who the fuck you are, it's also a reminder to me of who the fuck I am, and who the fuck WE ARE.
Who are we NOT to live this life to the absolute fullest, to dream as big as we fucking can, to squeeze every last juicy and delicious drop out of this one life? xx